'i'm ready for a wild friday nite!'

 

absolute music

5:37 of ecstatic sadness.  a song for crying yourself to sleep.  david roback's quiet guitar.  hope sandoval's ethereal voice.  the pauses.  the phrasing.  the simplicity of the melody.  if gorgeous despair has a sound it is this song.  art at the first intensity & the highest order.  as if beckett on MTV, 'i can't go on i shall go on.' a great beauty.

on the path of totality

on the last total solar eclipse, in 2017, we were on our annual holiday in a little beach town time forgot, cayucos.  we were nowhere near the path of totality, which was further north in Oregon by several hundred miles, but we looked forward to seeing the partial eclipse on the beach.  we had our special eclipse glasses too.  but the weather didn't cooperate.  it was very overcast that day.  that didn't stop us.  we hopped into the family truckster, & drove into the interior of the CA Central Coast where we found a break in the clouds 70 miles inland at a farming community called Bitterwater.  we parked beside the elementary school.  soon we were joined by eight or nine other vehicles who were also looking for a hole in the clouds to see the eclipse.  we must've been quite an unusual sight because one of the teachers of the school came outside to ask why were parked beside her school.  she smiled when we told her we wanted to see the eclipse.  soon she was outside with a few of her colleagues to do the same.

my father did drive to Oregon to be in the path of totality.  he told me it was an awesome thing to experience.  really emotionally moving.  stunning one to tears.  

today, seven years later, the U.S. experienced another total solar eclipse.  the next one will be in 2045.  but the path of totality was not even close to my beloved town in my beloved state.  instead, we experienced a partial solar eclipse of about 36% of the moon covering the sun.  besides, i was at the office today.  i did manage to take a peek around 11:15 AM at the peak of the eclipse but in downtown, & without eclipse glasses, what i saw was kind of dimming of ambient sunlight, like very early sunset perhaps.  but we live in a remarkable age.  yes, we do.  i shit you not.  NASA's youtube channel hosted a livestream on the path of totality & tho watching the total eclipse online is definitely not the same as actually being in it NASA did a really great job.  for about two hours i watched several total eclipses starting in Mazatlan, Mexico & ending in Maine.  they even provided the view of the moon's shadow on the earth from the International Space Station.  mind blown!

i've been reading & hearing lots of hype about this total solar eclipse for a few weeks now.  especailly stories about the economic boon many small communities will get because of a large number of eclipse chasing tourists booking rooms & dining at local eateries.  i've also read online a darker side of the eclipse.  conspiracy theories.  stories about the rapture happening during the eclipse etc etc.  i don't remember reading about these things in 2017.  says a lot about our collective mental space at the moment, i guess.

at any rate, i would love to experience a total eclipse but at my age 21 years from now is a long time coming.  the next total solar eclipse will be on August 12, 2026 which includes Greenland, Iceland, & Northern Spain, among other areas, in the path of totality.  will i travel to any of these places?  never say never.  but Iceland & Greenland often have cloud cover even in summer.  Nothern Spain?  don't know.  probably not.  tho these are places i've always wanted to visit.  especially Iceland.  

still, i want to say that the path of totality is also a mental space, an interior of the mind & imagination, that can be visited when my own mental apparatus are working for it.  but that's not quite true.  the path of totality cannot be replicated by the willed power of the imagination & the intellect.  for solar eclipses, partial & total, are a fact of physical reality.  we can read about sitting on the sand of a beach & feeling the breeze, taste the salt air, & seeing & hearing the surf, but you really got to be there to really experience it.  

but if i might borrow a phrase from a pop song of a certain repute, i can have, sometimes, 'a total eclipse of the heart.'  we live in a remarkable age.  we have the calculations that can tell us the precise date & time for solar eclipses, partial & total, for the next thousand years.  we can also see evidence of these beautiful acts of nature in the form of video & audio.  when the camera operators removed the protective filters off the lenses during totality, & i could see the Daimond Ring effect, while in another screen i can watch the people gathered, now in darkness, & hear their awe & joy, i felt a sudden irrigation of my eyes.  for solar eclipses shows us the true scale of our solar system, its awesome size, & how small we are in relation to it.  then telescope that out more & realize our solar system is tiny compared to the Milky Way.  then telescope the Milky Way out to its small size in relation to the Local Galaxy cluster where our own home galaxy is one of 54 galaxies etc etc.  & in all that vastness we are here on our planet with the ability to think, to love, to hate, to have emotions such as awestruck & humility.  when i am reminded, & not for the first or last time, that we are made of starstuff & afterwards, when we die, our atoms, might return to the Cosmos, back to starstuff.  & forever be a part of the Cosmos until it too shall die.  

late night with the devil [2023]

i'm tempted to write my shortest movie review ever:

this fucking movie is rad!  GO SEE IT   NOW!

without spoilers too.  because, at least for me, i didn't read any reviews or listen, watch or read any online discussions of this flick because knowing little about the events that happen in this gem of my beloved genre of horror is to see cinema magic at the first intensity.

the rundown goes like this, the host of a struggling late night TV talk show, a la the tonight show starring johnny carson, jack delroy, played by a brilliant david dastmalchian attempts to make the impossible possible at the start of sweeps week.  delroy is going live on the air on halloween night 1977 to try to summon a minor demon that parked itself in the mind & body of a young girl, lilly, played the equally brilliant ingrid torelli, who is the sole survivor of a mass suicide by a satanic cult.  the show is called night owls with jack delroy & has always struggled to compete with johnny carson's legendary talk show. 

but for this live midnight broadcast delroy has invited a psychic, christou, played by fayssal bazzi, a skeptic, a la the great randi, carmichael 'the conquerer' haig, played by ian bliss, who, like the real-life skeptic james randi. keeps a check in the amount of one hundred thousand dollars in his pocket to pay to someone or some organization who can prove that the paranormal is in fact real.  shit goes off the rails real quick with christou's visions.  yet, carmichael is on set to prove how fake christou's act.  indeed, carmichael is a know-it-all blowhard who has repeatedly proven that pychics & other paranormal phenomenon, are as real as a french-speaking duck.

this flick is played as a found footage movie where we are treated to the live broadcast & behind the scenes dramas.  the interstitial cards put onscreen as the show breaks for commercials are pretty cool with 1970s halloween iconography.  these cards are clunky & slightly off which makes the whole affair seem like the viewer stumbled on a live TV broadcast in 1977 on a UHF station.  the attention to the smallest details of 1970s set design, including the in-house band, brought a tear to this old horror fan's eye.  the filmmakers, brothers  cameron & colin cairnes, have invigorated my beloved genre.  this movie is fun from the first frame that reviews the economic & political instabilities of the 1970s, along with the tragic history of jack delroy who lost his beloved wife to cancer a year before this live halloween broadcast.  the cairnes bros attention to even the smallest details of the 1970s, including the growing panic of a perceived satanism in society, is a pleasure to witness.

& so, delroy's beloved wife, madeleine, played by georgina haig, plays a significant part of this story.  & when lilly comes on set, with her caretaker doctor, june ross-mitchell, played by laura gordon, we are greeted with a strangeness afforded to lilly in her affect.  which is fitting for a teen who has a demon living inside her & who was raised by satanists with the intended mission of lilly's young life to become a blood sacrafice to the devil.  

weird huh?  it gets better as the show progresses.  delroy needs his show to be number one during sweeps week.  so, here comes the devil!  i'll leave this short review right there.  to say more might entice me to reveal critical portions of the narrative that really must be experienced by viewers by watching this movie with fresh eyes.  but do note that this movie is a blast & i've not stopped thinking about it since i've watched it.  yes, this pic is that good.  

see it now! 

my domestic bohemia

grace to be born & live as variously as possible

--frank o'ohara

wake up around 7 am

make a strong cup of coffee

greet anna who is already at her work station

feed water & do a little petting for noah & leo

make lunch if i'm to go to the office

or set up my work station to work from home

find something to listen to as i walk to the office

or as i WFH 

greet nick when he rises

walk as much as i can

& boy do my dogs get tired!

read on my phone when i can

glance at the news

think of movies

think of poems

stop work 

think of dinner

settle in with anna & leo & noah

make dinner 

pick up nick from work if he needs a ride

think of other things

stare into space for a bit

fire up the laptop

read for a bit

write

watch a series a movie or live music videos

make ready for bed

hope that i can do all of these

again tomorrow

if the same or a bit different

etc etc.

'is there poetry in the pixels?'

yes, she said, of course

she said, i write w/ my phone

like it were a 1000 notebooks

all in one place, she said

a new paradigm at hand

all in one place, she said 

the mind in thrall

& language never ceases 

creation

every day we find a reason to swoon

it was a private event, but the docent let us in to look at the lowriders that were located right at the entrance.  a charming old chap in his mid to late 70s.  i asked him if he's been a docent for a while here.  yes, he said.  what is or was your favorite vehicle in the collection?  well, i don't have just one, he said.  since the collection turns over often.  but i love the stories about the cars.  oh yes?  yes, the docent continued.  like the car owned by rita hayworth.  but my very favorite was the vehicle [i can't remember if he mentioned the make & the model] owned by ricky nelson.  so many middle-aged women would get a thrill when i told them about nelson & his car.  then i would pull aside the ropes of the display area & invite these gals to sit in the driver's seat.  the seat where ricky nelson once sat.  & boy!  these ladies would nearly faint!  oh the pleasures of desire!  the heat of longing!  of being a witness to beauty!  it was as if nelson's driver's seat was the launching pad to get these women into low earth orbit!