something v. nothing

the subject of metaphysics. i've come to my atheism rather late in life and am influenced by the rational mind of anna whose thinking on everything is sharper and clearer than i can partake. i grew up nominally catholic, but never went to church much less mass, but i've long thought that the universe is numinous. not just simply that, i claim to have seen a ghost, a real ghost, when i was a child and tho that ghost may have been my own mind in the act of creation i posit that perhaps it might've been an authentic ghost just the same.

what of it. it's not the first time i've encountered contradictions. when i was younger i wanted to be a mystical poet. i read the works of philip k. dick and longed for visions such as his. that those visions are just so much bullshit, i think, don't invalidate their authenticity. for the most part i am happy to be conscious and verbal without the false comfort of a big daddy in the sky looking out for us all.

perhaps existence is because it can't but be. we are lucky to be alive, i think. often that is enough. i agree with the late great george carlin that religion is bullshit. a couple weeks ago i posted a snippet of an interview with thom gunn where the poet declares himself an atheist that admits to the supernatural. i posted that bit because gunn best encapsulated my own feeling and thought on the matter.

who knows. these thoughts come bidden after reading posts by both geof huth and w.b. keckler. huth quotes canadian poet gary barwin's desire to be cremated at his death and used in ink to print text. a joyous end and a utility novel by its simplicity for writers. what better way for our useless matter to be used after our expiration on earth. read huth's post here.

keckler is investigating why there is something rather than nothing. bill is a brilliant mind and it is a pleasure to read his posts and watch the youtube videos he links to. my favorite is the young physicist in part 2 who claims that religion and philosophy are useless endeavours. read part 1 here and part 2 there.