manos: the hands of fate [1966]

it doesn't get any worse than this. i first saw this dreck on the late, great b-movie spoof show mystery science theater 3000 back in the early '90s when the fantastic joel hodgson hosted the show. if you follow the link above you can watch this cult flick in its entirety. but i wouldn't recommend it, unless you happen to be on a self-loathing kick and intend to drink yourself silly and feel sorry for yourself and want still more punishment. how much can you take, sucka? probably not much, after all, even deeply self-loathing masochists will cry uncle after the first reel.

how to describe the movie? i can't. it involves the god pan, the devil, a couple of bimbos as sacrificial fodder for satan, or manos, or whatever, and a family who is on a road trip and stumble upon satan, or manos, or whatever, and his factotum, torgo, the pan character, who both have the hots for the margaret the wife and mother of the traveling family. that's it. i don't remember much more as i blocked most of it out, or tried to, from my memory.

this flick however is a hard thing to shake. there is a scene when torgo menaces poor margaret and there is a long, slow pov shot of torgo shaking and going so fucking slow toward the camera as he whimpers his lust and holds out his hand to either strangle or touch margaret. all she need do to get away from torgo's advances is walk past him at a normal clip and she'd have outpaced him like an olympic sprinter going past an 80-year-old one-legged man. instead she cowers and freezes and un-acts her role.

still, if you're up to it seek out the mst3k version of this flick. it'll crack your ribs from laughing so hard. that's the highest recommendation i can bestow. watch it at your own peril. fair warning.

boo