very nearly spring

it was like proserpina visited northern california a bit early. but as usual for this time of year we get a few days of warm, sunny weather. we kept busy, stunned as we are still by hugo's death. we worked cleaning the garden all day yesterday until our muscles ached and our spirits emptied. we didn't know the negation of hugo would become, as donne said, a luminous absence. he was a large personality, often aggravating to the point of seeing red [hugo had a nasty book habit. he was not a book reader; he was a book eater], but one that makes the world for us poorer for him no longer being in it.

the day demanded a quick road trip and as it was a holiday we decided to take nicholas to muir woods. after a couple of missteps that took us thru both san anselmo [we passed by the college of marin which i pointed out to no one interested is the school that the current u.s. poet laureate, kay ryan, teaches] and marin we managed to get to mill valley and hwy 101. it was thick with traffic and the parking spaces for the entrance to muir woods were all taken. seems everyone also had the same idea.

i prepared myself for a bit of aggravation, or so i thought, by rereading a few poems by jaan kaplinski, an estonian buddhist. i don't like crowds. they try my patience. yet the dappled northern california light on utterly transforming beauty of the redwoods helped. we looked for the famed banana slugs but they were all hiding, it seemed, under leaf mold and tree bark. nicholas was pleased just the same to find a clutch of lady bugs and a grey-colored beetle that was unknown to us.

nicholas had a blast finding every pile of mud and dirt and jumping directly in them like only a five-year-old can. we had to settle for a t-shirt and a postcard of a banana slug. if it seems we were obsessed with seeing the critters it was because we were. to make the matter even funnier it seemed the gods were teasing us in our frustration for a little banana slug sighting with a sign in the parking lot that told us to watch out for migrating banana slugs because a trail of 19 were found crossing the path in early january.

a quick glance around just in case a banana slug was waving bye-bye before we piled back into the car and took the long road home. the time was late and the crowds dilated just enough for us to have an unremarkable ride back to our house where it remains preternaturally quiet save for the bark that lives in our hearts.