10 things you must do before you die that you'll never get to do

inspired by an anecdote poet mark young relates to martin edmond during a reading young did a few years ago at the university of aukland i attempted the above-named list. mark told martin that his two great regrets was never seeing nijinski dance and never having fought in the spanish civil war. the first of these regrets inspired a poem titled 'I Never Did Get to See Nijinski Dance' for even in his fantasy the barriers of time, distance and circumstance bar young from witnessing one of the great 20th century artists.

every time i shop in a store like cost plus, which specializes in foods and furnishings and nick-nacks across the globe i see, invariably, copies of books with titles like 1001 Must-See Movies Before You Die. sure, okay. all well and good. i suppose a bucket list is a neat thing to have and maybe get to tick off items as we race thru our years on this planet.

but what about an anti-bucket list. those things that i'll never get to do but would've loved to do if time, distance and circumstance could be bent or even blown away. i took out my moleskin and scratched out the following:

1) see The Ramones perform at CBGB

2) watch exploitation movies in the grindhouses on the deuce of 1970s times square

3)

i drew a blank. i'm sure there are other things i'd love to do but won't ever have the chance to do them. see most things, like watch movies or listen to bands perform, i can do, approximately. i've never been to the 3 days of peace, love and music at woodstock in 1969, but i've watched the movie so many times and absorbed the stories and anecdotes of the counter-culture of the hippie era that woodstock has entered my bloodstream. sure, it's not the same as having been there at woodstock, but it is the best i have and therefore i do not have a wish to go back in time and see it for myself.

that's the problem with bucket lists. they are mostly wishfull thinking and silliness. i don't need a guide for 1001 movies to see before i die. my viewing is made thru my own tastes and discoveries and lucky accident. i'll never see The Ramones at CBGB but i've been to plenty of punk shows that i'm pretty sure i know the gist of the experience. or something like that. perhaps i don't have many unfulfilled experiences or that i lack the imagination for it. i've done a few things here and there. what really gets my juices flowing is sitting down with my laptop, my books, my moleskin and do a little daydreaming. me and language sitting here quietly doing nothing. that is for me the biggest thrill of them all.