not[e] on non-competition

at lunch today the topic at the table turned to the s.f. giants. they have a game tomorrow or sunday and i suppose it matters greatly how they perform during that game if the team wants to make it to the world series. i don't know. don't follow baseball and i don't know how the rules work or how the play-offs are structured.

i'm asked, hey rich, you don't follow sports at all. is that because you are anti-sport, or anti-capitalism, or. . .?

i say, i hate sports. bores me to tears. couldn't care a whit about nearly all sports, except professional wrestling and roller derby.

then i'm asked, hey rich, are you really non-competitive.

yes.

the subject of competition went the round of the table and it was agreed by personal anecdotes that competition teases out the best in us.

i dunno. it probably does. i didn't want to argue the point. but for me competition breeds negatives, and that highly competitive people might not lead better lives for their nature perhaps does not allow them to relax.

i'm more competitive than i'll admit. i try to rise above it. i'm not by nature a jealous guy anyway. when friends and acquaintances achieve considerable success i'm truly grateful for their success.

but i wonder what the hell we mean by *success* anyway. it doesn't mean more money, in my book. nor does it entail a degree from an ivy league school. or hi-falutin contract from fsg to bring out the next book. all success is relative and without sounding like a hippie -- too late, i thnk -- what really matters is the love we make and share and the work we do to advance that love whether it be in pictures, words or sounds.

besides, in my line of work, the world of words, competition among my fellow wordsmiths delivers, in my humble opinion, only ill will. i learn from my reading always. i don't advocate a kind of mediocrity in writing because i think we can achieve excellence without developing an attitude of me vs them. there is a school of thought that writers, artists in general, are unhappy creatures and what drives the engine of creation is the desire to better our environments. yes, of course, but unhappiness does not always come with a heaping of scorn for other people that are not you.

still so complicated. i do what i can. i practice non-competition, almost successfully.