up all night

it is 10 minutes after one a.m. and i am wide awake.  have no idea why.  perhaps its my body and brain adjusting to post-vacation time.  instead of lazily taking the sun on the sand in cayucos which is what i did all last week we did chores today.  normal stuff like house cleaning and laundry.  no big whoop there even if the ordinariness of daily life still manages to maintain a wee bit of magic gathering in the dustbins and corners of our minds.  thom gunn wondered why we can't seem to take what we learn on holidays into the working life of the towns.  unless humans 'contain in their emotions some homeostatic device by which they must defeat themselves just as they are learning their freedom.'

to extend that freedom even for a few hours tonight i watched muscle beach party [1964], a favorite beach movie entry of mine.  i missed harvey lembeck's character eric von zipper, a hapless biker in thrall with the beach even as he and his gang of 'rats and mice' tip forward the plots of most beach films.  this is the only entry in the series without lembeck and his gang of goofballs.  even so, beach movies are ripe with girls in bikinis, dick dale and the del-tones, surfboards and hi-jinks.  i couldn't help think that the actors in this movie, all young and good looking, are now 50 years older.  the thought correlates to another i entertained in cayucos, we get, if we are lucky, 50 or 60 good years in our lives.  that's it.  what we do with those years is up to us to a degree. but if we can have a some choices on how we live our lives why bitch and complain.  do or do not.  be a good person, and but be, too.

life is too short to be in a hurry.  one may become depressed by the shortness of life.  one might be supercharged by life's brevity.  death is our constant.  with that knowledge ask how will you live.