rain finally, rain!  it is pouring, i mean like cats and dogs, right now.  badly needed rain for california is dry to the bone.  there was clarity in the air this evening.  like everyone let their windows open and breathed deeply.  scales fell from my eyes and instead of seeing inward with just a few stray thoughts as i try to do as a kind of walking meditation, i looked up and around with the wonder of a child. 

even the asshole who nearly grazed my butt with his red sports car as i crossed the street, with a green light and in a crosswalk!, participated in the creation of tonight.  i've been thinking about the late french oulipian georges perec.  i picked up an anthology of late 20th century french poetry thinking perec might be in there.  no.  instead, i found myself thumbing thru the pages.  deeply metaphysical writing, but it's missing something.  a few of the finer poets in that anthology hit upon that something.  that something is the deeply felt awe of being fucking alive.  the luck in it.  the fortune of life.  the first noble truth: life sucks.  it does.

then what do you do about it sucking.  what with all that knowledge and you find yourself amazed to be standing on the corner waiting for the light to change the cars the trees the pretty woman walking her dog.  you find yourself hit right between the eyes with of all that, to use a phrase by elvis costello, useless beauty.  and you know it.  you just know it.  that you are damn lucky to be alive.