data points

it is a leap day & i heard on the TV news that leap days are pretty rare
you gotta be fucking kidding me, right

speaking of rare this is the first february in recorded meteoroligcal history
that there has been no appreciable rain in california at all

the older i become the more i know fuck all but i am constantly discovering
the new, for me, shit like the pianist keith jarrett

because no matter the age of the piece of art or the artist
if i just found out about it then it is all brand new

& i think of all that i have yet to discover
& fall in love with

like learning the size of the universe its age & the mysteries
of dark matter

or that every poem & essay i write are molecules
in the fabric of an indifferent cosmos

but also how fucked up we are in this post enlightenment age
because many of us believe superstitions

like astrology
& i think of that movie by the swedish director roy andersson

songs of the second floor [2000]
in which the stockbrokers took to the streets

in self-flagellation
to correct the markets that have gone askew

every day in the streets they beat themselves
when the markets went south

& i the ever faithful cosmonaut stumble poem by poem
every hour of every day

in pity wonder & horror that somehow thinking
yeah man maybe we might make it

thru this mess
& then i come to another hour & think maybe not

strange days

we did some chores today which means that we needed to drive from here to there
we got there an outdoor mall & it was a very lovely day
lo 70s F & sunny
t-shirt & shorts kinda day
but it is drought conditions as we haven't had very much rain this season
& the snow pack is low
& i sat in the car while anna did what was necessary at the outdoor mall
in folsom california
the rolling hills & oak trees of folsom are being paved
& developed
there were goats out too to eat away the scrub before the CATS arrived
& everyone i mean everyone including me at the mall
were on their phones
as i waited for anna to finish her business
i scrolled thru poetry twitter
as i sat in our SUV
& i can see thru the blue sky that life at the end of the world
still means i need to go to work on monday

it came from the trailer park!

munchies [1987] 

i love this roger corman cheap-ass knock-off of joe dante's gremlins [1984] about as much as i love dante.  why?  perhaps i watched it on cable around 1988 about a million times.  perhaps it is because of the searing crush i've had for actor nadine van der velde who portrays the girlfriend of the erstwhile goofball hero played by charlie stratton.  whatever the reason, i can't recommend this flick unless you are a real cinephile masochist.  reportedly shot in about 14 days this movie was meant to be as cheap as it looks & plays.  i bought the DVD many many years ago.  why, because i hate myself.  

writing poetry on mars
oh, mom, it is so beautiful
--steve carey 

i'm a fan of science podcasts particularly star talk hosted by astrophysicist/science educator neil de grasse tyson.  i listen to podcasts as i do my weekly chores.  & this week's episode is about the planned manned mars missions expected to occur in the mid 2030s.  haven't heard about it?  well, it doesn't get a lot of media attention considering that we have someone in the oval office that sucks a lot of oxygen from the room.

these missions will be joint private & government operations.  as the old 1970s action/sci fi TV show, the six million dollar man, said about the bionic man, we can do it; we have the technology.  the matter is money, focus & political will.  there will be stages in our journey to mars.  first there is artemis moon project slated to lift off in 2024.  haven't heard about this too?  damn!  artemis' goal is to establish a base on the moon where we can begin building the crafts to first supply then send humans to mars.

there are a great many hurdles to overcome before we get there.  even artemis can be derailed tho i suspect that it will indeed lift-off earth in a few years.  we are not going to mars to colonize it.  we are going to mars to give human kind a mission that can bind us together.  mars will be an international action.  one nation cannot do it alone.  plus, the study of mars will expand our knowledge of our own place in the cosmos & find if life [i suspect that there is evidence of fossilized living organisms on mars] exists outside of our earth.

now, i am no booster but i am interested in the cosmos & our place in it.  the universe, hell, our solar system, is vaster, more beautiful & stranger than we can possibly imagine.  to know more about the cosmos is to know deeper ourselves.  looking at the stars in the night sky is humbling because we are staring back in time to ancient light that has traveled unimaginable distances.  i think perhaps a shared first few steps off our planet can unite & inspire human kind.  i don't preach the end of injustice & conflict.  as the great poet rene char wrote, the poet bursts the bonds of what he touches.  he doesn't teach the end of bonds.  & if you want a present day example of international cooperation then look up into the sky right now.  flying over us is the international space station where a medley of astronauts, cosmonauts, taikonauts et al. are living, working & playing together in peace.  indeed, u.s. astronauts rely on the russian space federation to get to & from the ISS because we scuttled our own shuttle program a few years ago.  so human kind can & does cooperate, live, work & play in peace.  if it wants too.

poets have been looking at the stars forever.  i wondered what kind of poems would be written on mars.  i don't mean writing an ostranenie whereby the poet makes strange the ordinary details of our present day like the british poet craig raine did when he founded the martian school in the 1970s.  how can our present civilization be made more strange than it is already.  everyday i see something or read something that makes me feel like i've just walked in a sci fi movie.  the world is weird enough to just record it as it is.

so making strange is not what i am thinking about.  rather, the task of the poet is to observe & report.  what would a poet on mars observe & report on?  because if we are to survive our present madness [i am doubtful that we can] we will need art to help us think & see as well as we shall need math & science to make it all work.  as one scientist on the star talk podcast said, we need STEAM [science, technology, engineering, art & math] to get to mars.  hell we need these things just to get thru our daily commute.

would i want to be a poet on mars?  would you?  & what would you think about as you sat at your desk in your quarters on mars & stared outside your own window at its mountains, valley, clouds etc etc.  imagine that as you bring language into being.  imagine that you can hear the martian winds blowing against your habitat.  you can do that right fucking now.  our technology is so precise that NASA recorded the sound of a martian wind.  for i think, to quote a line by seamus heaney, the end of art is peace.  perhaps a collective international mission to mars might break us out of our petty meanness toward each other.  perhaps going to mars will give us a fresh perspective on the beauty & fragility of earth so that we may take better care of our home & thus ourselves & all living things on her.  perhaps writing poetry on mars will expand & deepen the ever possible needs & desires of the human heart which might extend to all things living for we might discover again & again how fragile & fortunate our being here on this fucking beautiful planet.  for we do have the eyes, ears, mind & ability to look up into the sky & count our lucky stars.  

gas station rose

last night i stopped after work at the safeway to buy various vittles & sundries such is my ordinary daily habits i totally forgot the upcoming holiday i mean i know valentine's day is today but going on automatic pilot didn't prepare me for the vision of oodles of young & youngish men hoovering up roses in their singles & bouquets & heart-shaped boxes of chocolates & cheap champagne & pre-printed cards i felt like a biologist in the field observing the mating rituals of greater apes

not that i abhor or eschew romance & l'amour & their attendant rituals & yet something in me saw within these dudes a bit of hope because i mean all these guys were thinking of their partners not in the abstract but as very real persons

that love is in the air is a cause for celebration even if the rose was purchased in a gas station you know the kind a single rose &/or a small bouquet wrapped in plastic set on the check out counter beside the gum lottery tickets & swisher sweets you might have bought one for your honey or you might have been the recipient of one of these roses from your beloved

what thing more might symbolize the tenacious demands of the lover but a rose bought on the cheaper end of a retailer but the rose that tells the lover you are loved you are desired you are valued 

i went about my business & bought my things at safeway as these young & youngish lovers gathered the artifacts of their love for this special day i suspect their partners were probably doing the same at another store for love as you know is always in the air

an unmoveable feast

my beloved home state of california is becoming a very expensive place to live.  my own burg is seeing rents rise to incredible levels.  i don't know how young people can do it.

anna & i rented our first apartment in 1994.  the rent for a one bedroom/one bath flat with built-ins in midtown was about 500 smackers.  today that same flat rents for around 1700 smoleans.  midtown in the mid-90s was not a hip place to live but we loved the neighborhoods of midtown because they were older, urban, & as i said above, the apartments often had wonderful features like built-in architectural details like cabinets, shelving, & murphy beds.  a whole lot of charm was to be had for pretty cheap.  of course, our first place had crappy old skool knob & tube wiring.  we always had to replace old fashioned 1920s era tubes to the fuse box.  it was a great place.  i loved it.  our second place was also in midtown.  our third place, our house, we bought in east sac but our house is on the edge of midtown.  we fell in love with the old skool charms of an urbanized environment.

however, midtown has exploded in popularity.  lots of young, cool, hip people moved in.  the rents & house prices have risen accordingly.  these are not bay area prices, yet, but they are approaching critical mass.  & yet, when i read an article today about the unaffordability of the bay area for younger poets & artists i thought, come to sac.  my town is still relatively affordable.  culture does not rest on geography but on the people that inhabits it.  we make it as we see it.  i admit that i am a born & bred sac boy.  but i got no stake in the game.  sac also has its bigger city problems like horrible traffic.

i would love to see more younger poets & artists setting up a life in creativity in my beloved city.  still, i know that california is an expensive place to live.  how does that bode for the future of our artists & our culture[s]?

or our people?  the number of homeless persons is rising.  every day i seem to see even more tents lining freeway off ramps.  that is not happening only in california but in the rest of our nation.  what shall we do?

what shall we do about the rising costs of housing in our society?  i don't have any answers.  the causes for our problems are deep & systemic.  still, if i can risk being a booster, california is my favorite place in the world, & sacramento is the best place to live in a populous state.  i say to the younger poets & artists who can no longer afford the steep housing costs of the bay area, & southern california, come to sac.  midtown is a great place to live, work & create.  the rents & housing costs are going up up up.  but they ain't so bad that you can't afford to live here.  the weather is fantastic [summers can be brutal with triple-digit temperatures, but hey, i hardly hear from a booster of NYC that it snows in the city & the summers are hot, rainy, & humid; all of that, to me, is miserable!].

tho i do wonder in the near future when young creatives can log-on & skype their ways to a community.  what need of place, then?  still, we will always need a place to live & buy our groceries.  we shall desire a place to have our first, second our forever dates.  romance & the work of the world begins & ends in a physical place.  you can log-on for our virtual tour of any place on earth nowadays but to breathe the air & feel the street under your feet can never be replaced.

i don't know.  i see all kinds of housing being built as i walk thru my city, but these housing are meant for the affluent, not the penurious poet.  it would seem that california is no longer a moveable feast.

no?

the martian

these are the days when you feel you've just landed
on earth

as you try to take your bearings but you don't
fit in

like today as you went about doing
those things

like everyone else does you know
those things

like grocery shopping & fueling up
your vehicle

& it seems that everyone around you are
going about

as if they were performing some
secret ritual

designed to open the mysteries
of being

you are confused by all
of it

the wonder of ordinary experience
the custom

of standing in line at the supermarket when the system
breaks down

the clerk frantically calling for
her manager

as you wait patiently as you can
in front

of you is a young woman with black hair streaked
with green

she is dressed like a colorful figure from anime
she is

playing a game on her phone & chatting with anyone
near her

finally when it is her turn to pay for
her things

she turns to you & asks for your monopoly
game pieces

[this you don't understand] because she's
already won

a $1000 & she would like to
win more

the clerk smiles at the both of you
& says

please take my pieces because i have for you the
magic touch

quote unquote

keep america strong, watch horror movies

--bob wilkins [sacramento/bay area TV horror host]

the curse of la llorona [2019]

when the going gets tough the tough watches horror movies.  or so i like to tease myself.  our present day problems are depressing the hell out of me.  so when i saw this flick on HBO a couple nights ago i thought, what the hell, let's give it a shot.

the theme of this pic is the weeping woman [la llorona] who lost her children in a tragic way & is cursed to wander the land stealing other parents' kids along the way.  she is a figure out of folklore & bad dreams.  but what if she is real?  well, it is the early 1970s, the wonderful actor linda cardellini is anna, a social worker who must take the case of a troubled mother who lost her children.  anna herself is the mother of two small children.  little does she know that la llorona took this troubled mother's children.  this tortured woman leads la llorona to anna's kids in the belief that if she gives these kids over to the vengeful spirit the weeping woman would return her own children to her.

does it work out that way?  what the hell.  this is a horror movie & nearly all horror movies are filled with characters who make the stupidest choices.  anna enlists the help of a defrocked, disillusioned, priest to battle la llorona before her own kids are snatched by the evil presence.  the ex priest, rafael, played by a solemn & monotone raymond cruz, practices a kind of mysticism that can cause damage to la llorona.

all the jump scares & scary tropes are present, somewhat effectively.  the director, michael chaves, knows the horror movie traditions of the past 40-50 years well enough.  the make-up & design & antics of la llorona are deeply indebted to early 2000s asian horror movie monsters.  these are not bad things.  la llorona does look like a myth come to life.  but there were a couple of set pieces where i thought chaves & co. borrowed too heavily on well-known tropes like being attacked while taking a bath & fabrics like window curtains blowing into the shape of the creature.

& yet i watched this flick all the way thru.  maybe that is more in line with my own love of cheap horror movies, or is it a kind of celluloid masochism.  did i mention linda cardellini stars in this flick?  i'll watch nearly anything that she is in.  back in the video store days i remember seeing the box art of strangeland [1998] starring & written by twisted sister rocker dee snider.  it freaked me out it did.  it was linda cardellini's face with her mouth sewn shut.  yuck.  it wasn't until many years later that i did see that flick.  i have the same opinion of snider's effort as i do have of chaves' finished film.  watch at your own risk.  

villonesque

where are the skateboards of yesteryear?

you are loved

i haven't been doing a lot of writing these past few weeks
i am reading/watching/listening & doing what i can to stay sane in an increasingly frightening & confusing world
i rarely worry about not writing
i let myself go fallow
but i am always thinking of poetry & poets
it's an occupational kind of thing

i turned on the TV which is my habit when i am doing the various things around the house
i stayed away from news
flipped the channels & landed on a documentary of shakira in her comeback 2018 world tour
you know shakira she's part of the pair that just performed in the half-time super bowl show

i didn't know shakira is so freaking popular but what is keeping me watching [it is playing as i type] is the audience

the people love her i mean really really really fucking love her
they cry real tears of joy & happiness as they sing along to shakira's songs

i'm an old softy
i am reminded of that line by french poet & hero of the maquis rene char, in my country, we don't question a man deeply moved
& that an artist can bring so many thousands of people together in the palace of love & music is pretty fucking remarkable

i am making that remark right now
shakira on stage in song tells each one of her listeners
you are loved

absolute music

my country is the whole world
i am a man deeply moved

this book changed/saved my life