monster hunter [2020]

it's been a while since i've written about the pleasures of watching a really bad movie.  i was once an avid dvd collector.  i still do cherish my discs, & my few vhs tapes.  i have a working dvd player & vcr.  yet, i find myself drawn toward streaming platforms where my viewing is now scandinavian noir cop shows, hk/chinese action films, s. korean zombie movies, u.s. & u.k. cop shows, canadian sitcoms et al.  least to mention deep rabbit hole youtube dives too.  i need several lifetimes to watch all that i want to watch!

& yet, sometimes a movie comes along, grabs me by the throat, & drags me thru its narrative paces.  monster hunter is such a flick.  i watched this pic this afternoon.  why?  because it stars one of my favorite action movie heroines, milla jovovich.  she is the bee's knees.  i dig her very much.  maybe it's because of her eyes.  she as a screen presence that belies the video game cum movie fodder.  she started in action movies as project alice in the resident evil franchise.  helmed by her filmmaker husband paul w.s. anderson these zombie flicks are about as scary as a moldy loaf of bread.  it's the action set pieces, the fx, the wild art direction, & the talents of jovovich that make these movies so fun.

this flick is no exception.  written & directed by anderson the movie is based on yet another video game.  how could i tell?  because the putative monsters from 'another world within this one' can only be killed by hunters like jovovich.  even the mighty fire power of the u.s. military cannot fell these fiends.  only a warrior skilled in martial arts, wielding a sword the size of a blue whale jaw, can kill these beasts.  jovovich is an army captain ranger in the middle east.  she leads her elite squad thru the desert only to find these weird markers stretched out in the barren wastes of the desert.  a sudden, fierce lighting storm lights up these markers.  lo!  our gang is trapped & then transported to a bleached out desert of sand dunes.  

whoa!  hold on!  what's that coming under the sand towards them?  a monster?  no shit!  suddenly these elite soldiers are greased one by one leaving only jovovich alive.  why is she the only survivor?  because her husband is making the film & she is the star!  but, hell, like i said, i love these kind of movies & i am a big admirer of milla jovovich.  i can watch her in almost any movie.  almost.  still, she finds her way to safety & befriends a local monster hunter played by another grand action movie hero, tony jaa.

do they get along?  does peanut butter go great with chocolate?  but not after doing some bang up fighting with each other.  then, as a peace offering, jovovich gives jaa a few bites of a hershey's chocolate bar who in turn gives jovovish a flagon of water.  they don't speak the same languages but they are friends for life.  more importantly, monster hunters for ever.  & so it goes until we find other locals led by the great ron perlman who can speak the queen's english.  good luck monsters!  because they are gonna get their asses handed to them.

or do they?  i'm not telling.  i will say that the plot is easily predictable & if you haven't figured out that this movie is based on a video game you will once you come to the conclusion.  as for video games, i admit to not being a player, but i think they are a formidable form of art.  like poems & movies.  sometimes video games get adapted to some fine films.  & sometimes, they are turned into movies like this one.  fully enjoyable.  goofy & fun.  starring kick ass action heroes. perfect summer matinee fare.