recently i texted a few friends a couple of pics of my bookshelves with the heading SHOW ME YOUR BOOKS.  a couple did just that.  another responded that he is currently downsizing his library & now depends upon his local library for all the texts he needs, wants & requires.  my friend has reached a certain age where he considers his things too much of a burden for his children to deal with when he is no longer on this mortal coil.  

i hear him.  after all, things are just materials.  they are the clutter of our lives.  just a few minutes ago a bottle of beer spilled sending liquid down a couple of bookshelves.  a few of books got a little damp including a couple of out-of-print collections.  this is not the first splashing for many of my books.  many bear the scars of a life of use & accidental spillage. 

another friend & i joke that we want to die surrounded by our things.  for me that is largely books, journals, manuscripts etc etc.  the clutter of my life makes me happy.  what happens to them after i die is not up to me.  i don't care.  i'm dead.  & won't have a say in the matter.  if nick & anna throw out all my stuff after i'm dead i won't care.

& yet, i do wonder what amongst my things might have some value to future poets & scholars.  i know, that is quite a conceit.  most likely my stuff bears no value but only to me.  of all the billions of people who live on this planet right now.  & the trillions of people that will come after my own brief time certainly i can't hold to the belief that i'm so important.  no.  i take great pleasure in my knowing that i am ordinary.  i am one of the billions upon billions upon billions who live, who have lived & who will live on this blue rock.  

does such knowledge bum me out?  not even in the slightest.  for i have this short time to make of them what i can.  for me that means the making, reading & being of poetry.  & movies.  & fatherhood.  & family.  & friends.  etc etc.  do i want to remake the world?  fuck yes.  how?  by being a non-asshole to the better of my abilities.  as the late poet michael dennis said, it is better to be a good person than to be a good poet.  but i don't think the matter is binary.  we can be good & be a good poet & artist.  

as for my things, throw them into a sack & do what you will.  for the moment while i am alive i am gonna be one happy mofo in the middle of my clutter, my own things.