moving in to geezerville

a couple weeks ago anna & i went to the pool.  it was opening weekend.  we figured this summer we will most likely be patronizing a few public pools so let's forgo the yearly pass & pay as we go.  & it happened.  age.  aging.  & people who view you as old!

see, when i got to the front window i said to the girl taking admission, 'two adults.'

'two adults?' she asked

yes, two adults

'well, adults admission is for 4 to 54.  you sure two adults?'

she was looking at me like dude you've long past adulthood & landed in the neighborhood of senior citizen.

anna busted up laughing.  a woman customer at the other window said, 'i wouldn't admit that too!'

but here's the thing.  we all get old.  if we are lucky.  i don't prize youth.  or youth culture.  so much.  i was young.  i enjoyed the shit out of my youth.  but you couldn't pay me any amount of money to repeat my youth.  

& no matter your physical age your mental age will always be around 25.  mine sure as hell is.  but fuck youth.  i want to grow into an elder rascality like my heroes ikkyu & nicanor parra did.  

as the late poet adam zagajewski wrote, 'i am no longer young / but someone is always older.'  & if i make it to the point where i am the oldest fuck around i will consider myself super lucky.  for in the history of humankind growing old is a luxury & privilege.  

i feel very lucky indeed.  doesn't mean i'm happy about moving into geezerville.  but what the fuck.  i don't have a choice about it as our little blue marble makes its orbits around the sun.  

i think this is the best time to be alive in the history of our species.  call that bias.  call it naivete.  in spite, & despite, our very fucked-up-edness i wanna live to see what happens next.  

& if i am not so fortunate to live as long as ikkyu & nicanor parra well i've lived longer than most humans have since the start of our species.  & i've seen some shit.  good, bad, evil & sublime.  we all have.  i am not unique to that.  but i am a poet.  for good & ill.  not a famous, good or well-known poet.  but i say i am a sentient being, & in the phrase by santayana, 'i am an ignorant man.  almost a poet.'  the trick today is to admit to your limitations & ignorance.  so much to learn still.  so much to read, listen & watch. 

eat the fucking ice cream today for there is none in heaven or hell.  but do take care for if you die from overindulgence that will be the end of your eating.