moving boxes

the last couple of weekends we've been packing up my things in the backroom to do a little remodeling

the backroom is my library office workstation (when i work from home) chill-out space writing den 

i've sold a couple boxes of books to a local bookstore which makes me happy & i was pleasantly surprised to get more than i expected for them   i attribute that to my good taste in poetry & literary non-fiction!   right?! 

but packing up my books, discs, papers & shit took a lot out of me   funny thing about growing older is that your mind tells you that your are 25 but your body responds in kind as saying fuck that shit!

indeed, i know i look old!  really, don't try to talk me down on it!  my hair is nearly white in some spots, i sport a bit of a gut now, & i can pull a muscle just by sleeping!

what really hit home was that moving some of those heavy boxes of books outside so we can start moving the bookcases & furniture anna saw that i was struggling under their weight

to be fair, books weigh a ton!  so she asked nick to help me  'your father is having a heart attack,' anna told nick  his eyes got wide!  with concern  she had to reassure nick that i was only needing nick's strength to move these giant fucking boxes outside 

then later that night i dropped something that made a loud THUD  anna rushed into the room fearing i had collapsed  i reminded anna that one needs to have a heart to have an attack  & i am HEARTLESS! (har har!)

but to make matters worse was a day or two before i was at the office  if you work in an office you know that Amazon, UPS, USPS et al. are always making deliveries of items of various size  well, Amazon delivered a MOTHER of a box  i signed for it  then i got down on my hands & knees to read the label it was address to

at that moment my coworker walked in   saw me on the floor   & GASPED!  she thought i might've had a heart attack!

it happened  i have become old  & when i buy beer at the local SAFEWAY  & the young clerks ask for my birthday i am sure they are thinking DAMN!  THAT'S SO LONG AGO!!

& yet, as my father tells me, growing old is a privilege  or as a character said in a recent TV episode  'everyone gets to be young  it is the lucky who get to grow old'

so i'm not bitching about getting old too much i guess  i was just watching a live performance by the band GUIDED BY VOICES led by robert pollard  pollard is 65  he doesn't look young either  but man that dude can ROCK!  so i hope i can grow old like robert pollard

in re the backroom   it's gonna be rad!   i get a day bed  the cats are gonna dig it  & i am at that age where i can create a space to my own liking   putting the books & discs back into new shelving is gonna hurt!  but when it is done  i will be one happy mofo