pinball wizard

b. & i stopped at a local pinball arcarde, the kind that serves beer & food, that caters to an older clientele who might be nostalgic to the things of their youth, like pinball machines.  we were on our way to get dinner for the evening from a local mexican restaurant.  we had some time to kill so b. gave me a few tokens & in we went.

i found this machine

 

i picked it because i was a hot wheels kinda kid.  the pinball machine reached back into my own memories of hot wheels cars & pinball machines but the machine here wasn't a vintage game.  rather it spooked into the player's nostalgia of a time long past.

still, it was fun playing.  senses on full as i put my fingers & eyes to the test of keeping that little silver ball in play.  there was so much noise in the arcade that i couldn't hear my own machine.  how was i doing?  how much did i score?  i fucking don't know!  

still, i set myself against the machine & looked into its works

i felt like a hybrid of machine & man as i worked against the lights to keep the silver ball in play.  my fingers became flippers.  my body leaned into the machine.  who am i?  what was my purpose?  how to stay in the fight of a system i could never have designed?

did i do well?  did i fail?  the silver ball ceased play & became stuck in a crevasse of the interior of the machine.

there it stayed.  for a few minutes.  i even tried to tilt the pinball machine to get it unstuck.  b. finished his own playing & waited for me.  i was done.  kaput.  finished.  then the silver ball dropped back into play.  i hung on.  i flipped the flippers.  i did what was necessary.  i watched the ball slip out of view.  it was over.  like life.  the play felt like it took a lifetime.  that lasted only for a few short minutes.  if i possessed any skills it was this one, the ability to hang on.  & keeping going.  all the way to the very freaking end of play when the silver ball dropped, inevitably, out of sight.