moping around the house on saturday while anna spent a few hrs at the office, i watched ed wood's plan 9 from outer space, again. nicholas was playing with his toys running from bedroom to living room, and would bring me a book to read to him. tho, nicholas idea of reading from his books does not include the actual words. at this stage it is looking at, and identifying, the pictures.

so then, anna comes home, asks what i was watching, and i tell her.

need inspiration, she asks.

hadn't thought about it, but yes, yes i do. strangely, watching camp films is a vivifying sensation. more like a series of experiences to work into language. for me, inspiration is not unlike a collection of exercises to get the muscles going. it is not a flash of lightning come from the aether. that happens, sometimes, but rather it is a very rare occurrence. i don't trust it when it does happen like a lightning bolt, because often when i return to that text written in a flash, i find that it sucks.

it was rainy saturday. the previous week at work was especially stressful. i had hardly written anything. watching wood's film was like a holiday. the words didn't come, but language returned to its possibilities.