i don't want to be nothing but who i am
a bard's eye view of love, life and psychotronic cinema
as for favorite love songs, there are many. each depends upon the time and circumstances of my life. for example, the psychedelic furs' 'love my way' takes me back to being a moody teenager in thrall to his own wounded self. or perceived wounded self, or 'selves' as tom beckett has written, for there is something scary, disturbing and sad in richard butler's vocals intoning, 'there's an army on the dance floor / a passion with a gun, my love' that really struck deep in the marrow of my longing.
difficulty with works of art that are based solely on love, or the beloved, is that sentimentality often seeps right on in and soaks the work in sugar-sweet emotions. when that happens we feel used, cheated, manipulated, spurned by the work because it contains nothing of the authentic in it.
call me an old softie, but last month, near valentine's day anna and i were doing a bit of shopping and compiling lists of the best love movies, love songs and love poems. totally subjective of course, and probably influenced heavily by what our generation watched, read and listened to. now, i'm not big on generational differences, which i consider mostly minor pop cultural matters. but because i listened to spandau ballet as a teen impacted what i might consider a love song.
the following are two pics from doug blazek's reading last week. i tried to post more but the fucking software is not cooperating. blaz's poems have gone thru a metamorphic shift in the decades since he founded ole magazine. subjects include quantum physics, language and even a few poems dedicated to his new wife, rachel. it was fantastic. blaz was in great form. my only complaint was that the reading was rather short. it seemed to just begin when it was over. and doug reads only once every few years.
suffering from my seventh cold this year. it ain't too bad, a runny nose, a few small aches, sneezing, the occasional cough, you know, business as usual. too much info? well, shit i didn't know placing nicholas in daycare would expose me to the most ruthless, yet nonlethal, of bugs on the planet. c'est la vie, as they say.
while tom tries to get jiggy widdat, by his mistress plan, i am trying to get jello widdat and i have no monster plan. tho my favorite character from sesame street was cookie monster as host alistair cookie of monsterpiece theater. that now is getting yr monster on.
printing up our, richard hansen and myself, interview with douglas blazek to give to him tonight at his reading. at 20 pages it's a rough draft, and i want blaz to help edit it. he has the final word in the text since it will be his words, ideas and thoughts on a life lived in writing that i hope to get at. been sitting on my ass too long with this project so i'm pleased to have something to give to the venerable old poet. pics forthcoming from his reading.
received a pdf of a series of poems by guillermo parra originally published in the journal 6x6 by ugly duckling presse. a meditative action based on his childhood neighborhood in caracas, venezuela. it is required re-reading.
in an email geof huth asked me why i use len200 in my email address. i answered that when i opened my hotmail account my name is so common that it was impossible to find a form of richard lopez to use in the address. so i took the first three letters of my middle name and added the 200 out of exasperation.
hansen's exhibit of the covers of all the tiny chaps he's published in his series looked great. last night it rained hard. the little gallery was unheated and the sound of the rain pounding the roof made it at times difficult to hear the more soft-spoken readers. but there was a good crowd. and hansen, as usual, did an outstanding job for the first night of a month-long series of readings and exhibits. pictures forthcoming as soon as i load them to my laptop.
reading tomorrow night in celebration of the 5th anniversary of richard hansen's micro-press poems-for-all. hansen has organized a month-long series of readings and exhibits in honor of the anniversary. here is the schedule of events. hansen asked me to choose some poems published in the series. it is quite a list, and i'm taken by the breadth and depth of poets he's published, poets and poet-bloggers such as crag hill, geof huth, rob mclennan, jon leon, aaron belz, donna kuhn, steve dalachinsky, a.d. winans, to name just a few. drop by and say hi. i'll be the guy wearing glasses.
i can relate to joseph torra's post about parenting. but i've always been a bit of a homebody, so i didn't, and don't, go to a lot of shows. i spent my 20s and early 30s working at jobs where i had lots of time to read and learn to write. that time was magic, but is unrepeatable. unlike torra i don't feel i'm missing out on stuff because, at the age of 38 and being a new dad, i feel i'm just starting, and am now learning again to write. my reading has slowed down a bit, since i have to put the book or journal or computer down when nicholas is opening up cabinets or climbing on the furniture, but i've become like an old jazzman re: reading / writing at night, when everyone is in bed and sleeping.
do poets watch tv? dumb question, sure, most tv today is pure shite. i grew up on tv, and i know i was watching the tube before i could read. which makes the talk of videocy outstripping literacy a bit specious. sort of, since i'd argue people who are not serious readers today probably would not have been serious readers a few generations ago before tv become the big blue eye in everyone's living room. and if i ain't nothing, i'm sure as shit a serious reader. so are a lot of poets i admire who, i am sure, watch tv.