i've been hit by steve caratzas for the interview me meme. okay, i asked steve to hit me up with a few questions. i like memes, and i like being interviewed. so sue me.

here goes.

1. What B-movie actor do you wish you had been?

if lucio fulci can be called an 'actor' - he played the lead in his mash-up movie cat in the brain [premise that the director fulci was being brain-washed into believing he was committing all kinds of grotesque atrocities, which were cobbled from scenes of his previous movies] then i pick fulci. fulci was a certifiable lunatic who made a few of the wildest movies ever set on celluloid

if fulci doesn't count then i pick john saxon. he's always seemed debonair and cocky at once. sort of like a ghetto sean connery. only that you can tell saxon knows his shit doth stink.

2. Which band was more instrumental in forging the
punk rock movement: The Sex Pistols or The Ramones?


the pistols sold to the world that there was such a thing as punk. but without the ramones there would be no punk. what came first the chicken or the egg. answer is easy: the ramones.

my wife, anna, calls me a punk rock snob. punk started in the states in the early '70s - you could argue the late '60s with the velvets and iggy and the stooges - then migrated to the u.k. and again migrated back to the states in the early '80s where the sound became more aggressive and brash, which was thus the birth of hardcore. all the while punk existed on both sides of the pond and spread thru out the world, nourishing each other.

without the ramones none of that would have developed as it did.

3. What three songs would you like played at your
funeral or wake?


a/ 'funeral for a friend' by elton john

b/ 'god's comic' by elvis costello

c/ 'mommy, can i go out and kill tonight' by the misfits


4. More idiotic mode of transportation: roller blades
or skateboard?

considering i grew up skating, both on boards and at the local roller rink, where i rented boots that were connected to two trucks and four wheels and grooved to late '70s funk and disco and journey and reo speedwagon and that i think roller blades look pretty retarded;

i'd have to go with skateboards. any device of transport, no matter how graceful or crude, that makes me - a 40 year old man - want to start a street skate club for middle-aged punks so we can tear it up on the streets and at the local skate parks so we can show to all these young whippersnappers what shredding was back in the day is pretty dumb.

i'm taking names now for my club. we'll call ourselves 'geazers'. if you wanna join, grab yr stick and meet me on the street.

5. Describe the most irritating thing you have
encountered at your place of employment over the past
month.


my cube is next to the john for men. i hear everything. most times i can block it out. but every now and then it sounds like a fucking firehose or dying thing croaking its last.