Tuesday, July 13, 2010

randomness

as it feels, sometimes, the 'it' being life and since i live also in the world of language words then also feel random. e.g. i want to say something, a simple directive or a straight question, but i trip over my meaning. i might stutter -- i do stutter sometimes, esp. when i'm tired, nervous, or trying to get out my meaning faster than my jaw will allow, i'm convinced it's genetic in origin -- or i may even mumble. sometimes the words move without benefit of meaning. i've no idea what i'm trying to say even in the midst of trying to say it. i think, i'm fucked. it's not that words have failed me but that i have failed words. i attempt to do better and write down my meaning, but again my language slips its lexical frame and scatters across the page, often in my atrocious script or are banged against the keyboard. i don't know what i'm trying to say and exercise my need, my right, to say it.

9 Comments:

At 8:43 AM, Blogger John B-R said...

O Richard, Richard, there's nothing random about it! You just have to go back a reread The Psychopathology of Everyday Life, that's all. The fog will clear ;-)

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger richard lopez said...

what i need is a copy of THE PARAPSYCHOPATHOLOGY OF EVERYDAY LIFE so i can ghost thru these days

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger John B-R said...

Why don't you write it? (Y'know, if you ever want to collaborate ...)

 
At 1:58 PM, Blogger Ed Baker said...

and when you right it I will read it...
meanwhile as Maurice Blanchot (frequently) says/writes (in his
The Space of Literature

(see page 52 'The Need to Write):

"The need to write is linked to the approach toward this point at which nothing can be done with words. Hence the illusion that is one maintained contact with this point even as one came back from it to the world of possibility, "everything" could be done, "everything" could be said. [etcs.]"


or to put it into the "mouth" of Stone Girl:

even
this
point
is

point
-less

.....unconditionally.

ciaoo, Ed

 
At 5:29 PM, Blogger Jim K. said...

i get different cognitives
depending on instrument

recorder messes me up
a zebra pen is ok
a pencil gives permission
when i don't trust me
i don't carry a pencil enough

worse comes to worse,
spit a constellation of
words on a half page and
come back in a month..
the subconscious keeps
working...you just need
the breadcrumbs to some back

say it wrong and visit it
in the future..it cooks

 
At 5:29 PM, Blogger Jim K. said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

 
At 9:24 PM, Blogger richard lopez said...

i'm all for a collab, john!

ed, thank you. blanchot encapsulates my thoughts better than i did. there, in a sense, we all write each other something faulkner used to say, that i love, about his writing. if he didn't write his novels then some one else would've. and i would add, to stone girl, there is necessary beauty in all this senselessness.

 
At 9:28 PM, Blogger richard lopez said...

jim, i have my own writerly fetishes too. my favorite things are my pelikan pen and my moleskin. often i drab a few lines, thoughts, or texts from other writers down in my moleskin than let those simmer. i don't have a writing routine and often texts get written directly on the laptop and posted here on the blog. when i do want to shake things up i give myself a task, such as writing a daily poem, or a sequence of writing. often enough i just do what i can and let the words come where they will.

 
At 6:59 PM, Blogger Jim K. said...

The oracles' fireplace is lit
http://oraclesfireplace.blogspot.com/

 

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