back to old skool

pulling long hours at work so that when i get home i have energy for the most basic of tasks and little else.  i read a bit in the morning -- nearly always poetry -- and after dinner and an hour or two with anna and nick i try to stay awake to watch a little TV or a movie.  last night i fell asleep watching a documentary on climate change and overpopulation.  when i climb into bed i take a book or magazine -- rolling stone, the new yorker, vanity fair, et al. -- read a few sentences and pass out.

boo hoo! 

and yet, i owe some writing to a couple of friends.  i feel guilty for not honoring my friends and fellow poets -- my brothers and sisters in the art -- because of my limited abilities.  oh, yeah.  this ain't no cry fest to feel sorry for myself.  life is short.  my life -- right in the middle of it, i hope -- is the only one i got.  if there is one thing i take seriously and honor the most, other than my family, is friends.  i am good at feeling guilty especially if i feel i am falling short in my friendship.  guilt, it seems, is a very human ability and i could compete in the olympics if it were a sport.

but like i said life is short.  love is what you make.  i woke up this morning thinking to myself, dude you are gonna die sooner than you know, enjoy your fucking life, listen to more music.  so with that i'm kicking it old skool.  next week b., c. and i will venture out to see social distortion.  and then on nov. 7 i am going to s.f. to see slowdive at the warfield!  fucking A right!  slowdive and social distortion, my two most favorite bands.

i was checking out some my bloody valentine stuff online a few days ago.  then i went to youtube and watched a few slowdive performances -- recall that slowdive, an early '90s shoegaze band from, i believe reading, england, broke up by the mid-90s.  they reformed with all original members this summer and performed at many festivals.  i went to their website and saw that they added a north american tour.  s.f. is part of that tour.  now, as far as i know, among all the persons in my immediate orbit, i am the only one who is bat-shit crazy about slowdive.  but the band is really that good.  i told anna that the show was sold out but you can purchase tickets via the second-hand online dealers.  long story short: she bought me the tix today.

now, if i sound like a kid on christmas morning so be it.  not seeing slowdive live was my one regret with the bands i love.  i love, for example, the throwing muses, i've never seen them live and i doubt i ever will, but i don't care.  slowdive, well hell, that band, i can't explain why, matters a great deal to me.

friends and coworkers know who social distortion is even if they are not familiar with their music.  but when i saw the word slowdive i get blank looks.  when i told coworkers anna got us tickets to see slowdive i said simply i'm going back to old skool to learn a few new grooves.

oh yes, it rained today.  glorious rain.  poring goddamned rain this morning.  i got soaked on my way to work.  then it cleared up.  to a gorgeous day.  we need more rain.  a lot more rain.  a lot lot lot lot more rain.  a friend reminded me that every fall i rhapsodize about the light, cooler weather, changing foliage, pumpkins, goblins and ghouls, of autumn.  i do.  like a broken record.  or a well-worn groove.  i do that because i love this time of year.  even when i am feeling a bit blue it is hard not to share the pleasures of being alive at this time of year.

now, if you'll excuse me i have some writing i want to do!