Tuesday, April 07, 2015

curiosity is often the better part of me.  an adept in the art of living.  but being a bad student in all things i often fail.  sometimes wonderfully.  for example, i feel guilty for not writing enough poems, emails, blog posts, reviews both of movies and books etc etc.  i feel guilty for not reading enough books, websites, twitter feeds [yes, there are a few good ones out there], chapbooks, pdfs etc etc.  i don't know if the guilt i feel is the failure, or my lack of doing enough.  i console myself with failure.  i fail to fight sleep. i fail to get enough sleep.  i fail to call a friend.  i fail when my curiosity seems to be the dominant force in my life and i find myself wishing i had more hours in my life to devote to making new discoveries or following the threads of knowledge of subjects, like string theory, that are always outside my grasp of understanding.  failure is part of my life.  i fail, often, to practice gratitude and love this present now.  i fail to watch all the TV shows that are recommended to me.  i fail to find the humor in the newspapers.  i fail in my dislike of contemporary pop music.  i don't know where i begin and where my failures end.  in this i know success if it belongs to me is failure by another name.  i know.  and with this knowledge of failure i can say i have succeeded in knowing my name.


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