it's the 4th of july

this year, this terrible year, i don't want to celebrate.  i wasn't feeling it.  the pandemic raging, the economy collapsing, our politics venal.  i want to sleep & not wake until after the election.  i want to sleep & not wake until after the new year.  i want.  . .i don't know what i want except what falls under the rubric of peace, justice, & lovingkindness.  those three things are in short supply, at least in the circles where our elites live & practice their lives.  still, one must go on.  & we promised my mother-in-law that we would have a socially distant bbq.  we wore our masks.  we sat outside.  we visited sitting well over 2 meters apart.  it was a lovely visit.  my ennui lifted.  it was time to ignite a few fireworks.  per usual, the neighborhood was alight in smoke & explosions.  but this year, everyone wore masks.  even the teenagers on skateboards roaming the streets.  families did practice social distancing.  a teen rode by on an electric bike all sleek & silent.  i said aloud that i feel i am in a sci fi movie with strange electric vehicles & everyone wearing masks.  i grew happy in the strangeness.  perhaps it's the smell of cordite in the air.  i love fireworks. i have since i was a very wee lad.  the concussions & the streets swept in smoke elevated me.  this year is like no other i have lived in.  i drove home with this song by the great punk band x looped in my brainpan.  'hey baby, it's the 4th of july'.