happy halloween!

i did nothing spooktacular to celebrate this most high of holidays.  2020 is a big bust.  we got no trick 'r treaters, as i suspected.  our whole street was dark.  was feeling a bit blue, but anna reminded me of all we have to be grateful for.  which helped raise my spirits.  &, there were some houses, scattered about, that set up scary decor in their front yards, dressed in elaborate costumes, & set up tables to provide treats to socially distanced youngsters that did venture out.  those few trick 'r treaters all wore masks too.  not halloween masks, you see, but masks appropriate for protection in the pandemic.

seeing those haunted houses, & children, was definitely a medicine for my melancholy.  but i still felt like the day was a still drop.  the weather is still very warm.  i wore t-shirt & shorts all day.  the light is changing to the softer autumn gold & rust.  nick found a map to the corn maze in 2017 located in dixon, a pumpkin patch we've visited every year since nick was knee high to, well, my knee.  

we didn't do the corn maze this year.  or any haunted houses.  most places were just not open this year.  but i recall a few years ago this one time when i visited a haunted attraction with my friend, p.  there were about five mazes, among other attractions, at this haunted house.  but this one, i think it was called, THE CHAMBER OF DARKNESS.  you entered into total blackness while there are whispers surrounding you.  

total blackness.  not one bit of light.  of course, p. & i are middle aged men, each happily married, with a measure of stability in our lives, but after the first couple of steps we held hands.  we made friends with another couple, a man & woman, in line so all four of us entered together.  but after twenty or so paces we got separated from them.  soon it was just p. & i navigating a maze without the benefits of our eyes.  

there was one turn, one little curve of wall, when i felt p. let go of my hand.  i heard his voice, rich...rich...you there?!  yeah, man, i yelled.  i am right here!!!  p.'s voice got fainter & fainter until it disappeared with the rest of the whispers that were part of the maze.  

after about 20 minutes i emerged in to light.  i made it out of blackness.  i was back in the land of the living.  scare actors in their costumes.  ambient horror movie noises on the PA.  people laughing after getting a fright.  but where was p.?  i waited at the exit of the maze for about 10 minutes.  then, i wandered thru the lobby of the haunted house.  i asked around.  no one saw my friend.  a few scare actors broke character & said, yeah, i saw you enter the haunted house, but i thought you were alone.  didn't see you with anyone.  

p. & i drove separate cars to the haunted attraction.  after about half an hour i decided to go home.  this was before i got a phone.  i couldn't text p.  i figured he was a grown man & could manage his own affairs.  we'll swap notes about this evening tomorrow.  i drove home.  

to this day, people humor me when i tell them about p.  you are not supposed to have an imaginary friend when you are in your late 40s.  i swear he was a real guy.  i remember years of friendship.  but i don't insist upon my memories to my family & friends.  they'll give me that, i gotta lock away the knives kinda look.

its been a few years since that night.  i am an even older man who loves halloween.  & i can still hear his voice.  when i am alone.  when i am about to fall asleep.  or when i day dream.  

rich...rich...you there?!

boo