Sunday, September 28, 2014

everyday is halloween

it's become an annual tradition, getting lost in the corn.  the little agri-burg dixon has a very cool pumpkin patch, cool patch pumpkins, with what must be the world's largest corn maze.    

b. and j. got here a little early.  we had a few chores to do then we had an early dinner at a local greek restaurant.  then we headed to the maze.  it took a while to get there.  a lot of traffic on the road.  road work too.  we got at the pumpkin patch about 6:30 p.m.  the elderly security guard at the entrance told us not to worry, we'll get out, eventually. 

b. was prepared.  he prepped the map and with a highlighter pen scored our journey.  i checked my watch.  we entered the maze at 7:00 p.m.  there are four bridges in the maze.  we got to the first bridge at 7:15 p.m.  making good time.  we got to the second bridge an hour and half later.  not good time.

we were not the only ones lost.  everyone we encountered got lost.  we began recognizing groups of people.  some would follow us because it looked like we knew what we were doing.  i think people followed us because we looked old to the mostly young people in the maze and so because of b. and my advanced ages, along with having flashlights, and a highlighted map, with two children in tow, we must know what we were doing.


the maze this year is fiendishly difficult.  also, it is early in the scary season so the paths on the maze are still fresh.  meaning that a lot of the corn later in the season gets flattened and paths get pretty worn making find your way out a little easier.  tonight the paths were dense with corn allowing a narrow passage. 

we were fine for the first two hours and got to the second bridge in okay time.  but the last third was a killer.  nick and j. were holding up well.  they were tired and sore.  i looked at my watch.  it was 10:30 p.m.  we had been in the maze for three and half hours.  the final portion of the maze consisted of a lot of switchbacks that were dead-ends.  we no longer heard voices of other maze goers.  nick saw a large rate and a huge toad. 

we met a group of teenagers who were hopelessly lost.  they asked if they can follow us.  they were worried they might have to camp in the corn for the night.  by 10:45 p.m. i started to worry about that too.  we could see the klieg lights burning at the edges of the maze and the roar of the generators.  we knew we were close to the exit.  we were tired.  we felt responsible for the teenagers.  one called her mother on her cell phone and said that she met up with some 'very smart people' [yes, that is a direct quote and i wanted to tell her that we were simply going on our nerve] who looked 'like they've been to college' [another quote, that kid was sweet and i think a bit nervous about being lost].  we needed to get out of the corn for the sake of those teens, our two boys, and my sanity.

we were fouled in the switchbacks.  one dead end after another.  we could hear the generators for the lights.  b. looked at the map and said we made a wrong turn at the last bridge.  we needed to double back.  we did just that.  we took a couple of turns to the right.  there was the exit.  and two golf carts with workers waiting for us.  the teens screamed.  we were the last group to come out of the corn.  i said, you can't be waiting for us!  but they were.  they said, hop on and we'll get you to your cars.

it was a long four hour adventure.  i'm looking at the map now and wondering what sadist devised it. i asked a worker if 11:00 p.m. was the latest he had to wait for people to get out of the corn.  he said no, the latest was 3:00 a.m.  because they count the cars in the lots and wait for people until they come out.  in fact in the rules section of the maze map is, and i quote, ''stay on the pathways.  you'll eventually come out.'  we did.  the teens were taken to their waiting parents.  we climbed into b.'s truck and made our way back home.

it was a long night.  a special night.  an adventure.  i am still wired from the adventure.  nick is in bed and will sleep like a babe.  i'm sure b. and j. will too.  we couldn't have asked for a more perfect night.  getting lost in corn is, i'm telling you, one of life's greatest pleasures.



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