on not winning the nobel prize in literature

the nobel prize

The Nobel Prize for Reading
should be awarded to me
I am the ideal reader,
I read everything I get my hands on:

I read street names
and neon signs
bathroom walls
and new price-lists

the police news,
projections for the Derby

and license plates

for a person like me
the word is something holy

members of the jury
what would I gain by lying
as a reader, I am relentless

I read everything -- I don't even skip
the classifieds

of course these days I don't read much
I simply don't have the time
But -- oh man -- what I have read

that's why I'm asking you to give me
the Nobel Prize for Reading
as soon as impossible

-- nicanor parra [antitranslated by liz werner (antipoems: how to look better & feel great; new directions, 2004)]

[by the by, i was hoping the great antipoet would win the nobel prize today.  he didn't; i didn't win either.  let's call the whole thing off]